Looking back

Pondering the past recently, them carefree days, the ones with no real responsibility, only having to worry about yourself.
I had a discussion with OH the other night.
I always assumed women automatically had a maternal instinct, the minute you have a child that's it, it kicks in. Mine hasn't, and I feel guilty because it hasn't. Every other mother out there that I meet, seems so much better at it, and seems to have much more knoweledge, so what have I missed?
I get way too stressed, lose my patience quickly and somedays just wish it was me and OH again. I long for the past, that carefree attitude and less worrying. I look back and miss the nipping off on holiday or going away for a weekend. The last minute deciding to go out for a drink or for a browse around the shops.
The browsing at the shops never happens anymore. It's a far too stressful experience, and these days I just shop online for clothes, or in my lunch hour for food.
I feel guilty for longing for the past, and that there is no way anyone would understand, particularly friends who are also mums. I'd be treated like an outcast, shunned and hated by all. I'm sure people already think I'm a bit strange, because I work and don't stay at home. I think attitudes still expect wife and mother to stay at home.
I love being at work, it gets me away from home, gives me something grown up and interesting to do. Talking and meeting people is most of my job, and it's great to get out have a laugh and adult conversation.
Things will get better I hope, as the young one gets older.... or will the problems and worries get bigger and worse?