Decisions

Life is full of them, and they always seem to be difficult.
Well, I've made it, I'm going to stay where I am, as long as I can get a slightly bigger house! That sounds really selfish, but it's not.  Well not entirely, I just want to be able to see more of my family and friends, and the MQ we have at the moment just isn't big enough.

Staying here after getting my hopes up isn't so bad afterall, hopefully I'll get to keep my job and with any luck, if we get the house we need all will be good.  If we don't get the house we need... then what.  My first thought was to just think oh fuck it, I'll go back to the UK on my own, although this would me staying with my parents until I could get settled... that could take someone like me a fucking age!

As for Fling... I've not mentioned the new plan to him.  To be honest the thought scares me, in fact I might be better of staying here because there is less chance of me being given the opportunity to meet up with him again.  That said, last time we emailed he was more than happy to make an effort to come and see me.  I think maybe that was just op tour boredom talking though.
I do concern myself with him a bit too much sometimes, I don't know whether it's because I worry about him at the moment, or if it's because feelings are going deeper, but I think it's just naughty excitement, a break from reality. Whatever the case, I know deep down he's a wanker, he's already shitting on his current girlfriend by keeping in contact with me.  So not the kind of guy you would give up anything for.... apart from a bored night when you have nothing better to do.